Friday, May 25, 2012

Why Can't Bar Rafaeli Get a Date?

Why don’t guys hit on supermodels?

Recently Maxim magazine crowned supermodel Bar Rafaeli the hottest girl in the world.

To celebrate the occasion and market the magazine Rafaeli appeared on the Conan O’Brien show where she managed to bemoan her fate: guys never hit on her; they never ask her out. She does not get it.

If you watch the interview, linked by Kiri Blakely, you will notice that she also states that she is “taken.”  Then she tells a story about a guy who hit on her at a club with what she took to be an especially cool come-on: he saw her texting and confidently announced his phone number, adding that he knew she wanted to have it.

For those who aspire to win her favors, she explained that what really turns her on is bright, white teeth, accompanied by a big smile. Apparently, the world’s hottest woman has a Chiclet fetish.

This is hardly the first time that an incredibly beautiful woman has complained that she is not getting enough male attention.

It’s not really the most surprising thing in the world. Supermodels gain fame and fortune posing in women’s magazines. Their primary audience is female, not male.

Anyway, Kiri Blakeley addressed the issue cogently in a recent post. She explained that men look at women in terms of risk/reward.

A man will be thinking: how much time, money and energy will he have to risk to make an impression on Leonardo di Caprio’s ex, and what are the chances that he will receive any reward at all? If Leo bounces back into the picture, it will all be for naught.

Unless he’s Tom Brady, what chance does an average guy have with a world famous supermodel?

On the other side of the risk/reward equation, when a man is looking for a hookup, he will probably be drawn to women who are vulnerable and desperate. As Susan Walsh wrote on her Hooking Up Smart blog, "players" like their women dumb, drunk, and easy.

If a man is looking to take advantage of a woman he is not going to waste his time with one who knows her way around alpha males. He will know that she will quickly see through his game.

The risk/reward calculation also works when it comes to a woman who is “taken.” If a woman signals that she is unavailable, as Rafaeli is, the risk reward ration quickly tilts away from her.

Let’s add two other possibilities, here.

First, supermodels look like goddesses. Unless a man is Tom Brady or Leo DiCaprio he mighty feel diminished in the presence of a goddess.

Men seek out women who make them feel larger, not smaller.

Second, supermodels represent an ideal of aesthetic perfection. Many of them are so beautiful you gasp in their presence.

Unfortunately, an aesthetic ideal is not the same as an erotic ideal. That is why supermodels begin their careers on fashion runways or in the pages of women’s magazine.

Their primary currency is aesthetic perfection, not sex appeal.

A woman who embodies the ideal of beauty is, by definition, untouchable. When a woman provokes an aesthetic emotion a man will be less likely to ask her out on a date. 


Dennis said...

There is another idea at play here as well. The more beautiful the woman the less they have to develop a pleasant personality. They are going to get a lot just because of their looks which means that they can do pretty much as they please. Few relationships can survive when one can demand so much based on nothing but looks.
One is struck by the question of how much of this beauty is just a facade for something not worth the time or effort. What's the Harry Belafonte song, "Never Make A Beautiful Your Wife?" A recognition of what is likely to happen if the past is any indication of the future.

Dennis said...

"Never Make A Beautiful Woman Your Wife." Geez!

Stuart Schneiderman said...

Thanks for the comment, Dennis. I agree entirely that very beautiful women tend not to develop their personality, to say nothing of their character, because they can get so far on their looks.