When people want to know how long their relationship will last they often try to figure out how they really feel. Thus, they fail to use the one resource that gives the best predictor of relationship success or failure: their friends and family.
... you may want to consider listening to the opinions of your friends and family, as sometimes ‘outsiders’ have more accurate predictions of long-term relationship outcomes.
Of course, you can always try to win people over by emphasizing the many wonderful qualities your lover has. Or you can develop a circle of friends that accepts him or her.
Unfortunately, when those who care the most about you believe that “she’s just not right for you,” the chances are that they are right. Especially, if they are women.
Benjamin Le explains that the people who have the best sense of a relationship are “her friends:”
Research by Chris Agnew,SofR’s own Tim Loving, and Steve Drigotas3 gathered a sample of heterosexual dating couples and had them identify “his friends,” “her friends,” and “our friends” (i.e., friends of both partners) and then asked them all to rate the commitment and closeness of the couple. When comparing all of the responses, her friends’ ratings were consistently the best predictors of breakup -- better than the couple themselves, joint friends, and his friends. In fact, after you accounted for what her friends thought, you really didn’t need to ask anybody else what they thought about the relationship – you already knew everything you needed to predict the fate of the dating relationships! So if you want to know if a particular relationship will make it, ask her friends.
Why is it that her friends seem to have the most insight into a relationship? Maybe women talk to their friends more about relationships, so her friends have more information about the relationship. Or maybe her friends are more likely to be female (as they were in this study); if women are more “in tune” with relationships (i.e., the stereotype that women are more concerned about relationships than men), then her female friends are likely to be accurate in their assessment of the relationship. We don’t have the phrase “women’s intuition’ for nothing.