Wednesday, December 8, 2010

What Women Don't Want

No, this is not a philosophical meditation on female desire. You can feel thankful for that.

In truth, I was inspired because a site called Ahalife has just published a list of the gifts that women definitely do not want to receive for the holidays. Link here.

Graciously, the site also provides a link to an alternate list: gifts that most women would like to receive.

So, while you are pondering Freud's overworked question: What do women want? it would be a great idea, given the season, and assuming that you are a man, to think about what kind of gift a woman would or would not like to receive.


Retriever said...

We don't want vacuum cleaners either...or anything from Victoria's Secret that we haven't already chosen ourselves. Size matters....

The link points readers to a mediocre list of things women DO want (obviously influenced by commercial sponsors). Here are some things women like to get as gifts:

Anything that says "I love you". (especially if you have been married a long time)
Just about anything from Tiffany (a silver charm bracelet w one heart is a classic)
Chocolate, as she diets all the rest of the year to look good for you
A pair of tickets to the ballet and a promise to go wiTh her without a fuss
A handmade book of vouchers redeemable for assorted loathsome household chores that she routinely does (bathroom and fridge cleaning, floor scrubbing, teenage kid room clearing out, etc) that you will cheerfully do whenever she asks you to. 3 or 4 will make a huge impression.
Clearing out a closet full of your stuff somewhere in the house and giving it to her to put HER stuff in.
An iPad
A Leica DLux 5 which is outrageously expensive but is the best point and shoot out now (the Panasonic clone isn't the same, and doesn't include the same software or warranty)
A voucher for a weekend trip somewhere away from the kids. Failing that, restaurant voucher ditto.
Books about her interests. And, yes, she can always use more cookbooks if she cooks (do NOT give if she hates the kitchen)
A voucher to an online nursery to buy seeds and plants for spring planting (hours of fun picking)
Cashmere hat and gloves and scarf because you want her to be warm.
A fox fur hat so she looks romantic and like Julie Christie in Dr Zhivago
A basket of smoked salmon, Brie, artichoke dip, and every other yummy snack she enjoys.

Stuart Schneiderman said...

Thanks so much, Retriever. For many male readers this will be one of the most helpful comments that has ever been posted on the blog.

Dennis said...

Its been years since I bought my wife something for Christmas that she has not already approved. It saves all that "You bought what?" stuff or that look that says after almost 50 years of marriage........... I generally have everything I want so I pick something that can go under the tree. Though I would like a $25,000 Monette Trumpet, but I think I can wait for that for another time. It would be fun going to their facility to see what process they would go through to hand make one for me.
Wouldn't it be nice if we just took the time to treat each other special and enjoy each other like there was no one else in the world? Too simple I guess.

Stuart Schneiderman said...

I don't think that we are ever going to get beyond gift-giving rituals.

I know that a lot of people prefer to ask first and then offer an approved gift. That's one reason why I like Retriever's list.

While it's good to offer something that a person wants, I think that one gets extra credit for selecting a surprise gift and seeing that it is well received.

Retriever said...

Well, obviously, not all women would like the stuff on my list. But I think most women like things that demonstrate the affection of the giver more than they care about loot per se. And, also, things that may be practical but pretty or better quality than they might buy for themselves (hence fur hat rather than polarfleece). I agree with Dennis that the best present would be treating each other well. But in an imperfect world I know that there have been many times when I have raced out of the house , cranky at my family for reasons that have everything to do with my own deficiencies and nothing to do with them, and then I look down at the gloves a kid gave me for Christmas, the iPod spouse gave me (after swearing up and down that they were ridiculous extravagant and unneccessary), and I realize that they do care. People need tangible reminders sometimes.