Saturday, November 3, 2018

Go Pet a Lion

The economy is humming. The markets are-- sorta-- booming. Jobs are going begging. So, America needs outside help. It needs people who will do the jobs that Americans won’t do.

Like… petting a lion.

Yes, indeed. How many Americans would be willing to pet a lion? Not many, you say. Well, such is not the case in Honduras. You remember Honduras. It is the source of many members of the migrant caravan snaking its way north toward the American border.

So, just in case some of these fine Central Americans make their way to America, you want to be prepared. You want to know what they will do to contribute to American prosperity.

Consider this as a job application. A drunk man at the  Rosy Walther Zoo in Tegucigalpa, Honduras waved through the bars at a male lion. Then when the lion came closer the man reached out to pet the lion. Someone or other, the lion was not in on the joke, so he mauled the man’s arm-- he must have thought it was lunch.

You've heard of people who whisper to horses. Why not pet a lion?

This, from the Daily Mail:

Now, I know that you think I have some special prejudice against Hondurans. In the interest of being fair and balanced, I recall for your attention the following event, which occurred at the Melbourne, Australia zoo some three decades ago. A man who had mastered the art of Kung Fu jumped into the lion’s enclosure at the zoo… in order to demonstrate the superhuman strength he had gained from doing martial arts.

Guess what: he lost. I will spare you the details.

I bet you thought I was going to say that petting lions was a new form of psycho therapy. Sorry to disappoint.


Ares Olympus said...

Cautionary tales are valuable, but some like these don't seem to be necessary. There's lots on entertainment possible on YouTube. You get the sense that its good to never turn your back on a cat of any size, although you can learn that from house cats as well. Lion attempts to POUNCE on little boy but slams into the enclosure glass
OTOH, perhaps videos like this may contribute to more foolish maulings... Mane Attraction: Man Cuddles and Kisses Huge Pet Lion

Anonymous said...

Chalk one more up to Disney. This is what happens when one is bombarded with the cute cuddly Disney approach to wild animals and the environment. Sadly, Disney does this with a lot of issues.
Showing these videos might disabuse people of the idea that these animals are so not what they have been lead to believe they are. We each have our place in the environment as prey or food.
That pretty little snake might be a coral snake!

Dr. Irredeemable Dreg said...

My comfort animal is a wolverine. Airlines don't seem to like him. I've been calling Avenatti's office, but the line seems to be disconnected or something.

Anonymous said...

Ellie Quo will be remembered long after most of us are forgotten. Not many are the top dog of their chosen game nor will have balls to challenge Polar bears and pet Lions in hand to hand mortal combat. The Legendary Kung Fu skill will live on.

Glass Half Full Guy said...

Who knows: Lion petting may be a cure for alchoholism -- at least in this case.