Monday, February 3, 2020

An Appetite for Small Breasts

Here’s an environmental crisis that very few people have noticed. America’s voracious appetite for chicken breasts has brought us to the verge of completely depleting the nation’s supply of little chickens. 

At least, we will console ourselves with the simple fact that chickens are a renewable natural resource.

Anyway, Zero Hedge has the alarming details:

The war between chicken companies Popeye's and Chick-Fil-A - most recently in the news for various fights and arguments in Popeye's drive-thru lines - carries with it another negative consequence: the two companies are using up the world's supply of little chickens.

We note that the problem concerns little chickens, not larger chickens, the kind you buy at Costco. Why is it that no one is protesting the simple fact that these little chickens are never allowed to fulfill their growth potential… because Americans like little breasts?

Both companies use little chickens because the size of the quarter pound breasts fits perfectly inside of a bun. 

The immediate cause of this calamity lies with a fast food chain called Popeye’s. It introduced chicken sandwiches a while back and quickly ran out of young fowl. Now McDonald’sand Wendy’s are about to offer their own version:

A shortage of the little chickens was the cause of Popeye's having to halt their challenge to Chick-Fil-A last summer. The supply is going to be further put to the test as McDonald's is now also entering the fray, testing fried chicken sandwiches in four U.S. cities. Wendy's is also spending $30 million to "beef up" its chicken supply chain. 
Scott Sechler, owner of poultry producer Bell & Evans, said: “Consumers don’t want tough and tasteless big chickens. There's increasing consumer demand for smaller, premium-quality birds.”

Popeye's said the demand for its chicken sandwich was so overwhelming last year that it went through several months of supply in just 14 days. The sandwich, which debuted in the summer, didn't come back until November. In the 3rd quarter, it helped propel Popeye's same store sales to rise 10%, the highest it has risen in decades. 

Thanks to the free market, Wendy’s learned that its customers largely preferred small breasts.

McDonald's and Wendy's are now targeting the same success. In 2017, Wendy's said it was cutting its average chicken size by 20%. 

“We saw instant feedback from our customers, who told us our sandwiches across the entire chicken lineup were juicier and more tender,” said Liliana Esposito, chief communications officer for Wendy's. 

The demand has redlined production for suppliers. 

Will Sawyer, an animal-protein economist at Colorado-based rural lender CoBank ACB said: “Whatever demand growth we might have on smaller breasts, there’s no new supply to meet that demand. Everyone wants a bite out of that market.”

Cute pun that. 

And yet, where is PETA when we need it?


trigger warning said...

All that white meat. So racist.

Anonymous said...

This post demonstrates why I try my best to avoid being drugged.

UbuMaccabee said...

I love Brasil!

Sam L. said...

Small Breast Madness! Big-breasted women hardest hit!!
(I couldna resist. We'll all get over it, I think. Maybe not today; maybe not tomorrow; but someday.)