Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Make Way for Pseudo-Carrots

Tom Samways, 36, from Cardigan, Wales, used pork mince to make the 'carrots' (pictured) in a dig at vegan alternatives

They look like carrots, don’t they. And yet, mirabile dictu, they aren’t real carrots. They are pork-carrots, simulated carrots made entirely of pork products. 

It makes a lot of sense. Burger joints are now selling vegan burgers, meatless concoctions loaded up with estrogen, the better to make us all kinder and gentler and more empathetic. 

Always remember, you are what you eat. Eat too many vegetables and you will become a vegetable. 

Now, a Welsh butcher has turned the tables, by inventing pseudo-carrots made entirely of pork. When your vegan friends see you munching on them they will think that you have had a conversion experience. At least they will until you trick them into biting down on one.

The Daily Mail has the story:

A disgruntled butcher is so fed up of vegans naming food after meat he is selling carrots made from pork. 

Tom Samways, 36, from Cardigan, Wales, used pork mince to make the 'carrots' in a dig at vegan alternatives.

His carrot recipe is finished off with an orange glaze for colour and parsley for the leaves.

And the bizarre veg has been a hit with customers - with 300 sold in just one day.

He said: 'Everyone loved them. It started out as a bit of a joke, they were just a gimmick - but they have gone down well and we'll be making more.

'The idea came from the fact that a lot of vegan food is named after meat products, like vegan sausages and vegan chicken.

'I just thought, well, let's make a meat version of vegan food.


370 said...

Given that it's the UK, they'll no doubt find a way to make it illegal.

trigger warning said...

Pork carrots (aka "parrots" or "corks") are offensive hate speech, as well as haram.

Sam L. said...

These are obviously NOT carrots, They won't "crunch". I'd like a biiig bunch of them!