Not Desperate Enough to Eat a Tofu Hot Dog

Here’s a story to brighten up a rather bleak week. We all know that Americans have been hoarding household essentials, like toilet paper, hand sanitizers and bottled water. We did not know that these same Americans, while stripping supermarket shelves bare, have refused to buy certain items.

Most especially, American citizens have turned away from all vegan products, from vegetable burgers and even soy bean soups. While the media has been trying to persuade us that vegetable burgers are the next new thing, the public seems to have understood-- by the unimpeachable logic in that old phrase: you are what you eat-- that the more vegetables you eat the more you become like a vegetable. 

The Miami Herald has this human interest story (boldface mind):

A lot of media attention has been focused on what people are hoarding amid the coronavirus pandemic, but social media is captivated by what we’re leaving behind.

It’s admittedly funny when a supermarket is out of almost everything, but can’t give away pineapple pizza, chickpea pasta or anything with the word “corona” on it, like Corona beer.

Social media is interpreting these shopping choices as an odd sign of hope: A way Americans are demonstrating that, despite living in desperate times, we’re still not desperate enough to eat a tofu hot dog.

“Somehow reassuring in the midst of coronavirus shopping frenzy to know that people still have the sense *not* to buy chocolate hummus and buffalo hummus,” Noah tweeted on March 12.

“The people have spoken and it is a resounding “Hell No!” We would rather starve in a pandemic before eating plant-based meat!” Jesse Pritchard posted March 20.

Go team!!