Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Joe Biden: Hair-sniffer-in-Chief

Just to keep up with the latest musing of America’s hair-sniffer-in-chief, I bring you this from the Babylon Bee. For the sake of clarity, I will mention that the website is satire, like The Onion.

The Bee is riffing off of Biden’s now famous remark about how an African-American who does not vote for him “ain’t black.” Obviously, it’s racist. Obviously, no one on the left cares.

Anyway, here is the Bee:

In a recent interview with a female representative of the segment of the human species identifying as female, Biden made a strong case for why all women everywhere should vote for him without question, or at least let him sniff their hair.

"Look, the thing, you know what it is," Biden said. "The womenfolk know what's at stake in this election. It's hairy simple. Just let me vote on you, or you vote for me, the vote, b-b-b-blond applesauce baloney. Simple choice. If you don't let me smell your hair, you ain't a woman!" Biden then sat back in his chair with a smile, having "totally nailed" another interview.

We appreciate the Bee's work in echoing the incoherent ramblings of a man with senile dementia.

It gets worse:

The female interviewer blinked a couple of times and followed up with some clarifying questions. "Mr. Vice President Biden, sir, If I may follow up on that, did you just say that if a woman doesn't let you stick your nose in her hair then she's not a real woman?"

"I b-didn't think I could possibly be more not clear!" Biden said with a perplexed look on his face. "If you don't let me personally walk up behind you unannounced and bury my shnozzola deep withing your flowing locks of cascading curly hair, YOU AIN'T A REAL WOMAN! NO MALARKEY!"

And naturally, feminists are all in with the hair sniffing fetishist. They are lining up to have Joe sniff their hair. Of course, they might also send him an article of clothes that would provide the same hit.

According to the Bee having their hair sniffed by Uncle Joe makes feminists feel like real women:

Witnesses then walked in on Biden conversing with a Cabbage Patch doll who he mistook for a female interviewer. After hearing the news, feminists around the country responded by lining up outside Biden's house to get a complimentary hair sniff, thereby affirming their statuses as real women.


Sam L. said...

The BEE STINGS! Mwah-hah-hah-hah-hah. I'm lovin' it!

370H55V said...

Where's Nina Burleigh when we need her?

UbuMaccabee said...

C'mon, Man!

Sam L. said...

What I saw was Joe saying, "If you don't know who you're going to vote for, you're not black." So a black person who knows that he/she will vote for Trump...is still black!
Bummer for Joe...