Monday, February 19, 2018

The Case of the Neutered Lover

Today’s quiz question is: What is wrong with this letter? Better yet, what is wrong with this letter writer? As it happens Carolyn Hax is so “woke” that she either does not notice or does not care or does not think it matters.

Before answering my question, check out the letter:

Dear Carolyn: I have been with my partner for six years and have just graduated from college. I love my partner and could see myself happily married to them for the long haul. However, I am beginning to feel wistful about never having dated anyone else — or kissed anyone else for that matter — and if I feel this way at 22, I fear that by 35 I’ll go mad and uproot my life at an even worse time.

Yet, I can’t imagine going through the pain of breaking up with the perfect partner just because of a stupid seven-year itch.

How do I make sense of these feelings? I tell my partner everything, and hiding this feeling is suffocating, but I would never want to hurt them, and I know this would devastate them. I feel too young to be this seriously committed but obviously unwilling to dump someone I think could be right for marriage in 10 years.

I thought I’d made up my mind to break up, but then I saw them and my mind was completely unmade because I love them so much. But how can I love them and still be interested in exploring other things? I could use some perspective.

Hopefully, you know by now that the letter writer has scrupulously scrubbed her language clean of any reference to gender, either to her own or to that of her many paramours. This is a grammatical nightmare, an effort to impose one’s own idiot ideology on the language. If he/she/it insists on calling her true love—“them”— it suggests that he/she/it has multiple lovers.

Rather than tell her whether or not to break up with all of them—though, ask yourself, why should would not be satisfied with so many lovers—she ought to clean up her language, figure out which sex she belongs to and come to grips with the sex of her lovers.

We assume that the person in question is female and we imagine that she has been brainwashed to an inch of her sanity by some politically correct Women’s Studies professor. If she does not know who or what she is, she will never answer her question.

Bad grammar is an affectation among the younger set. It makes them stupid and confuses their interlocutors. It is so confusing that anyone who has any sense whatever will understand that one’s life will dawn much more brightly if said letter writer is not part of it.


Redacted said...

Gender is for nouns and pronouns. Sex is for mammals et al. In fact, the Oxford Dictionaries site can't seem to define human "gender" without reference to sex...

"either of the two sexes (male and female)..."

The "gender" neologism should be spelled differently to distinguish it from the original; I suggest "genduh". Or perhaps "bullshit" - i.e., "They're identifying as bullshit today" (a change that would at least reduce confusion and incorporate the common usage of the original).

jabrwok said...

Whenever I see "partner" used in this context I just substitute "gay lover". Even if not true, the use of "partner" is obviously intended to obfuscate rather than clarify, so what assumptions I make are up to me.

I also loathe the singular "they", but I'll refrain from ranting on why the masculine pronoun should be used when sex (people don't *have* "genders") is unknown.

Jack Fisher said...

"I feel too young to be this seriously committed".

No shi'ite. Except for the chance to gloat at this trainwreck, why would anyone have time for this teenaged bleating?

Stuart Schneiderman said...

It gives you a look into the mind of the younger generation... priceless!

Sam L. said...

Stuart, I'd replace "priceless" with "worthless". Or "stupid", if I were in a bad mood.
I could have a "bad mood risin'".

Ares Olympus said...

Agreed, it is bizarre. The only good reason to use a generic pronoun is if you're talking in the generic. I suppose there is a little mystery and you might try to imagine the gender of the writer, and the partner as well in this wacky world, but a female writer and male partner seem the best bet.

On the predicament, I'd tell "them" my fears if I was "it"(?!), or at least I'd hope I was with someone secure enough to hear the question. And it's also a sneaky way of finding out if your partner feels the same way. As well seeing an overly jealous response or an overly detached might both be danger signs, so as an experiment in speaking up allows you to gauge a situation better.