Sunday, August 20, 2017

We're Scared As Hell, and We Don't Know What to Do

If I didn’t tell you this was from The Onion, you might not know:

BARCELONA, SPAIN—In a show of solidarity following the terrorist attack that left 14 dead and over 100 injured in Barcelona, Spain, European leaders stood together Friday to say loud and clear that they were scared as fuck and didn’t know what to do. “Side by side in the face of unfathomable violence, we assemble here today to say that we are united in our shared fear and our terrifying realization that we have no idea how to stop this,” said German chancellor Angela Merkel, who, flanked on both sides by other European heads of state, affirmed that terrorism freaked them the fuck out and would be eradicated from the face of the earth if they only knew how. “Today, we are not German, we are not Italian or French—we are simply people who are frightened out of their goddamn minds. And though we might not share the same tongue, utter panic sounds the same in every language.” At press time, European leaders vowed to continue hyperventilating as one.


Sam L. said...

Yep, pretty obviously The Onion. What to do? Stop immigration. Start vetting and deportation. Not PC, of course, but it will gather support from your citizens. If it doesn't, then your country will be dead and gone even sooner than you'd feared.

Sam L. said...

OK, that's harsh. Sometimes it really DOES take a 2x4 upside the head to get your attention.

James said...

That's not too harsh. The way the European elite has been handling this is a disgrace. Their actions are pushing the problem closer and closer to either start shooting these immigrants or let them in and give up. Soon there will be no other recourse.

Ares Olympus said...

Sam L, while we're at it, can we vet and deport all the White Nationalists too? I wonder who will take them?

Or maybe this is a dangerous game. How does that poem go? "First they came for the neo-Nazis, and I did not speak out because I was not a neo-Nazi..."

Is there really any safe way to distinguish between future terrorists and just ordinary self-righteous SOBs who will never act out their racial or religious hatreds?

But given the existence of the phrase "going postal", I'd guess probably not. So apparently "scared as fuck and didn’t know what to do" is the best leaders can do, after we add concrete barriers on bridge sidewalks, and keep mobs of people from taking over the streets from angry drivers.