Sunday, May 13, 2018

It's Mother's Day: Don't Listen to Your Mother

For some of you this advice might be a little late. After all, it’s about Mother’s Day gifts. And, if you haven’t bought anything for your mother yet, it’s probably a bit late. But, as they say, better late than never.

Anyway, the same advice applies to buying gifts for the women in your life. It applies to your mother, your wife and even your girlfriend. It applies to birthdays, anniversaries and even Valentine’s Day.

The Wall Street Journal has the bad news: when your mother says that she does not want a gift, get her a gift. On this one occasion, do not listen to your mother. When she says she does not want a gift, it means that she wants you to show some initiative and to choose a gift that she would want, because you know her well enough to know what she will want. She also means that you should show enough initiative to do so when you do not feel obliged to do so.

The Journal adds this important caveat: don’t buy her a vacuum cleaner. When you buy a gift for a woman, even a liberated woman, do not buy her a domestic appliance, a toy truck, or an air conditioner. Don’t even get her a book.

 You are obliged to show that you are buying a gift for a female being. One understands that our degenerate culture has descended into an absurd mania over gender bending. 

Trust me. Or, trust the Wall Street Journal. If you are not too imaginative, flowers always work. So does high quality chocolate. In the worst case, spring for brunch. You might even throw in theatre tickets, or tickets to a dance recital. But not movie tickets. 


Ignatius Acton Chesterton OCD said...

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. Today is our wedding anniversary.

I bought my wife a Roomba. She was over-the-moon thrilled.

For our first wedding anniversary, I bought her the vacuum of her choice. She was ecstatic.

Perhaps women aren’t all the same?

Oh, and my wife asked me not to get her anything for our anniversary.

My wife is particular about cleanliness. I do not have that high a standard. It’s important to her... and to most women I know. She wants tools to make the job easier. I listen to her. She is appreciative.

Happy wife, happy life. Vacuum cleaners and all.

Stuart Schneiderman said...

I should have mentioned, that buying vacuums cleaners is acceptable if you use the Amazon link on this page!!