Her Daughter Is Gay, or Is She?

Therapist Lori Gottlieb’s remarks are unobjectionable. She is responding to a woman whose daughter, aged 12, has just revealed that she is gay. The mother wants to know how to talk to her daughter about gay sex… or some such.

If such is the case, such is the case. And yet, there’s another angle to the story, one that Gottlieb ignores. See if you can see it:

As a parent, I firmly believe that it is my duty to prepare my kids to be positive, healthy, and productive people both in the world and in personal relationships.

So when my 12-year-old daughter announced that she is gay, my mind started spinning. Don’t get me wrong—I have no problem with her sexual orientation. But I am completely lost when it comes to how to prepare her for future relationships.

We’ve had “the talk” about heterosexual intercourse, so should I have “the talk” about lesbian sex? I’m also unsure how to handle sleepovers. Do I let her girlfriends spend the night when there’s potential for sexual activity?

Please help me with this paradigm shift.

What strikes me is the simple fact that this woman has taken the word of a 12 year old to be an unimpeachable truth. We recall, to our chagrin, that when her three year old son told Hollywood nitwit Charlise Theron that he was really a girl, she accepted his word unquestionably. As truth, not to be questioned.

If parents are now not allowed to question the opinions of children, where are we?

For all I know the girl in question might be very clearly and obviously gay. And yet, ought this parent not begin by asking how her daughter drew this conclusion. We know that children are being encouraged by their school teachers, their friends and the media to declare themselves to be transgendered. Are children also being influenced, by family, by teachers and by coaches… to declare themselves to be gay? What if this girl had been seduced by a female coach? It does happen. Shouldn’t a responsible mother engage a conversation with a girl who is just reaching puberty about the meaning of sexual attraction and the connection between attraction and orientation?