Friday, January 24, 2020

The Chucklehead Party

Just in case you were worrying yourself about the mind of Hollywood celebritydom, the New York Times has chosen to print the immortal political commentary of one Marianne Williamson. As you know Williamson is something of a spiritual guru, a New Age sorceress for the mini-minds on the Left Coast.

Keep in mind, Williamson was at a time a candidate for the Democratic nomination for president of the United States. And Democrats used to be the party that attracted smart people.

Anyway, the cautious Williamson is withholding her full support for a candidate. In the meantime she is supporting Andrew Yang in Iowa, because, why not. In truth, to be fair, she could have chosen a lot worse.

And yet, she compromised her selection by offering up this piece of New Age pabulum:

Andrew’s personality is like a tuning fork realigning us with something we need to retrieve, taking us back to a more innocent time, making us remember to chuckle.

She says nothing about policy and qualifications because she knows nothing about policy or qualifications. In that, she is better than those who pretend. She cares about his personality, which she compares to a tuning fork… one that is realigning us with God knows what.

By the way, this is pagan idolatry. Tuning forks do not align us with anything. Using a spatial image-- of alignment-- ruins the thought. As for why a tuning f0rk would bring us back to a more innocent time, I have not a clue.

More innocent than a string quartet or a symphony orchestra… perhaps. Williamson’s is clearly one-note thinking. One suspects that she wants to return to the state of nature, as many of her democratic compadres want to do. Or else she wants to return to a pre-industrial, pre-monotheistic time when pagan idolatry was all the vogue, and when a high priestess of cant held sway over her subjects. 

As for the word, chuckle, this suggests that she and her fellow co-religionists are simply chuckleheads. Using an outmoded, infantile word makes her sound like she is talking to kindergarten children, or to adults who are still clinging desperate to their inner children.

If you think that Williamson was bad, another New Age princess, by name of Gwyneth Paltrow is selling a new line of candles that smell like her or someone else’s vagina.

For a mere $75.00 you can purchase a candle that smells like a vagina. No kidding.

Perhaps Paltrow is preparing us for a president who has a hair sniffing fetish, but she describes the candle’s scent as:

...funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected….

In fact, it is a blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, cedar, Damask rose and ambrette seed. 

Sad to say, it has sold out. The stories do not tell us who is buying them. Frankly, we would rather not know.

But seriously, doesn’t it make you wish for the time when feminists insisted that women be respected for their minds?


whitney said...

Marie kondo has a tuning fork with quartz crystal for sale for the low low price of $75. I'm sure it's worth every penny and will spark joy in someone

UbuMaccabee said...

Williamson rose to prominence in the New Age movement because she was fuckable and people were on cocaine. It all dovetailed together for a brief moment. Now, she’s years past the wall, and the only thing she has to offer is nostalgia for a more fuckable, coked-up past. I say just listen the the Eagles if that what you are after. Chuckle.

I hate all of these people. Hate, hate, hate.

trigger warning said...

"geranium, citrusy bergamot, cedar, Damask rose and ambrette seed"

Anyone who's been aroung vaginas knows they do not smell anything like that blend, hence the existence and success of products like Summer's Eve.

Although Gwyneth might wish or, more likely, imagine> hers does. :-D

In fact, in a recent segment on her brainless Netflix series, Gwynnie revealed she did not even know what a vagina is.

Sam L. said...

Dang! Hippies are BACK!!!!!