Monday, November 4, 2019

New York: A City of Herbivores

We understand why President Trump has changed his permanent residence from New York to Florida. It isn’t just the tax situation, though that certainly played a part. It must have a great deal to do with security. If you cannot walk the streets of the city without fearing an assault, if you fear for the safety of your wife and young son, it’s time to pull up roots. Even if you are not assaulted, you will be subjected to sneers, nasty looks, insulting remarks and other forms of raw prejudice. In the end, it’s about the appallingly bad manners of New Yorkers. 

It might be about the diversity. With a multitude of cultures you get a cacophonous multitude of manners. So you never know how or what to do to signal your membership in a group. 

Then again, perhaps it’s about food? Perhaps it’s about New Yorkers’ expressed preferences for Thanksgiving dinner. Over at the New York Post columnist Lauren Steussy explains that the last straw for her was a poll showing that New Yorkers favorite Thanksgiving food was… salad.

A city of herbivores… how pathetic can you get?

Steussy writes:

President Donald Trump had the right idea, getting out of this wasteland.

But it’s not the political leaders, or the high rent, or the dysfunctional MTA, or the summer trash vapors or winter slush that have me headed straight for the Lincoln Tunnel like a bat out of hell.

It’s the fact that New Yorkers’ preferred Thanksgiving dish is a heaping, fibrous, cold pile of salad.

A new House Method survey of Google searches broken down by state has revealed this dark truth. It found that salad, more than any other savory dish, is the most popular Thanksgiving meal among New Yorkers — not turkey, not mashed potatoes, not the yams with the marshmallows toasted on top, not even Brussels sprouts, which, admittedly, are salad-adjacent, but certainly not some disastrous bowl of arugula tossed with pathetic vinaigrette.

Vegans and vegetarians unite against the upcoming holocaust of turkeys. They are soon going to have a Save the Turkeys event. They will occupy turkey farms to stop the slaughter. And they will sit down to their Thanksgiving feast and demonstrate how virtuous they are by munching on the radicchio. 

They seem not to have noticed that turkeys are a renewable food source.


Anonymous said...

What kind of turkeys?

Anonymous said...

Can these turkeys talk?

Anonymous said...

Maybe New York turkeys need Bob Dole?

Sam L. said...

As I understand it, turkeys have two sexes, and can reproduce, no matter how dumb they are (they are NOT bred for intelligence). I have worked with chickens, and once participated in a turkey drive (from the coops to the free-range area. At about 200 feet away from there, they spooked and scattered. Some got lost, and starved to death, those which we didn't find in the bush in time.